BirthMom Buds Bulletin
February 2009

What's new with BirthMom Buds: Just a little note to keep you up to date with all the great things we are doing!
The Forums ~ We have NEW forums! We were having some problem with our old forums and have moved to a more reliable forum! You will have to re-create a user name and re-register in the new forums. Special thanks to Destiny and her boyfriend, Bart, who built the new forums for us! Check out the new forums here.
New Showcase Page ~ Check out the new showcase page for Shannon O.
Save the Date! ~ BirthMom Buds will once again be hosting their annual Birthmother's Day event on Saturday, May 2nd in Charlotte, North Carolina. More details to come! Have you attended one of the past Birthmother's Day events hosted by BirthMom Buds? If so, please take a few minutes to answer the follow up questions located here.
Newsletter Writers Needed ~ Do you enjoy reading the BirthMom Buds Bulletin? Help ensure that great newsletters still arrive in your inbox monthly by volunteering to write an article. Not a professional writer? No problem, we will help you! Check out the newsletters ideas page or email us for more information!
Carolina's Meet Up Group - Melanie Mosberg has started a Carolina's Meet Up Group for birthmothers. It's free to join and is recommended for birthmoms in North and South Carolina. Click here for more information.
Support Groups - If you run or know of a support for birthmothers in your area please email us with the information as we are trying to start a list of established support groups through out the US.
Slideshow: We are accepting photos for the 2009 Slideshow so if you'd like to be included in this year's slideshow please email us your photos. Don't forget to include who is in the photos in your email! If you are a new member, check out last year's slideshow to get an idea of what the end result will be.
 

Ideas and Insights: Some ideas for gifts to your birth child or adoptive parents, creative ways to deal with being a birthmom, insight on things to do or say with your buddy, and ways to shed some light about being a birthmom to those who just don't get it.
 

Friendship Quotes
by Lani Downing

This is a great time of year for us to reflect on the many friendships that have been made in the years BirthMom Buds have been around. Coley and I have many things in common. One commonality is a shared love of quotes. We both have quote boxes and will often send quotes to one another. I highly recommend starting your very own quote box and when you’re sad read a few and maybe they will lift your spirits. To start you off, here are our top ten favorite friendship quotes.  

1. “Two are better then one if one falls down, the other is there to help them up.” ~ Ecclesiastes 4:9

2. “Real friends walk in when the rest of the world walks out.” ~ Walter Winchell

3. “We can't choose our siblings - but we can choose our friends.” ~ Unknown

4. "A true friend thinks you are a good egg even when you are slightly cracked!" ~ Anonymous

5. "If I had one gift that I could give you, my friend, it would be the ability to see yourself as others see you, because only then would you know how extremely special you are." ~ B.A. Billingsly

6. "The road to a friend’s house is never long.” ~ Danish proverb

7. “Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.” ~ Helen Keller

8. “Many people may walk in and out of your life but true friends leave footprints on your heart.” ~ Unknown

9. "A best friend is a sister that destiny forgot to give you.” ~ Unknown

10. "If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them, I would be at the bottom to catch them." ~ Anonymous

Adoption Spotlight: Focusing on any adoption issues, related web sites, organizations, etc.

Being a BirthMom Bud
by Jenifer Hulbert

As we celebrate the birthday of BirthMom Buds I wanted to take the opportunity to spotlight what being a member of BirthMom Buds means to me, what I know it means to others, and some of the great things about BirthMom Buds.

There are many aspects of BirthMom Buds that make it a comfortable place for a birthmom to find support, no matter which stage of the adoption process she is in. For me, I found BirthMom Buds when I was about 9-10 years post placement. I spent a very long time feeling depressed. More than anything, I felt that I was alone. Finding BirthMom Buds made me feel like I wasn’t alone anymore.

I found BirthMom Buds by doing an online search for “birthmom” and came across the website. The person that I connected with first was one of the Founders, Coley. She was warm, welcoming, and always a great source of comfort for me. We became friends right off the bat and I still consider her a great friend to me, even though we’ve never met face to face.

The BirthMom Buds forums have been a great source of comfort to me. I could read whenever I wanted and from a distance. Once I was finally comfortable I started posting and joining in the conversations. It was simply amazing how non-judgmental everyone was. I had only been judged from everyone else in my life. Reading what other girls were going through really helped me to understand more about my feelings, gave me permission to feel what I was feeling, and actually feel like someone was there. I was not alone anymore.

The BirthMom Buds Bulletin (the monthly newsletter) is something I have always found to be fascinating. When I was younger, I never really enjoyed writing. As I have gotten older and experienced more, I now really enjoy it. Being a part of the BirthMom Buds Monthly Newsletter has been both an avenue of creativity, and also a great place of information. The newsletter is a place to read about what is going on in the BirthMom Buds world as well as read articles and poems to help inform, inspire, and comfort birthmothers.

The showcase pages in the BirthMom Showcase are really amazing. I love reading through them and learning about all aspects of each member’s individual adoption. Only BirthMom members have a showcase page and they writer their own story so it truly is their own page. It gives those that choose to share, a place to get it all out. Most of all, for me, sharing my Showcase page made me feel a sense of relief to have it all out in the open. I enjoy sharing my story with others, in the hope that no one will ever feel alone again.

Some other great features about BirthMomBuds are the outreach programs they have set up. The Pregnant and Placing Mentoring Program is outstanding. They pair ladies up who have been through the adoption process with pregnant ladies who are considering adoption to let them know that they are not alone and that there are others who have been through and felt many of the same things they are experiencing.  I have mentored a few pregnant women and it has been awesome to be there for them.

The Buddy System is another outreach program through BirthMom Buds. Birthmothers can fill out a short form and are then matched with another birthmother of similar adoption types, interests, etc. for friendship so that they can be there for one another.

Being a part of BirthMomBuds gives me a sense of belonging that I have never really had before. I now know that I am not alone and that the feelings of loss and grief that I have felt over the years are normal. I know that other BirthMomBud members would say the same. That they too, couldn’t have gotten to the stage of understanding their feelings and their grief, without BirthMomBuds. To some, BirthMom Buds is just another website about adoption but to me and other BirthMomBuds, it’s family.

Prayers Please: We added this section because so many of you have asked us to remember you or your loved ones in our prayers. We have never wanted to force religion on anyone, so if you don't pray, then skip this section and go on to the next! And if you do pray - add the people listed here to your prayer list. Email Amy with your prayer requests.

"January was a hard month for rob and I. The medications that Rob has been taking for fertility actually did the opposite of what the doctor wanted. We were basically given two options now of either wait and see or try invitro. We will go in for another appointment on 2/20. I though want to thank you for your prayers for my emotions on 1/31, Kaylee's birthday.  I was able to get through my presentation and get an A+ for it as well! :) I also talked to Kaylee on the phone later that day which completely made my day." ~ Amy S.

" Please pray for my husband who is undergoing treatment for Hep C. The treatment involves 6  pills on top of his regular pills daily and a stomach shot on Fridays. He's experiencing a increase in appetite and becoming moody. I'm going be traveling Feb. 22- 27 and March 9-13 for job training. As I enter into this new world of employment (mental health), I'm a bit overwhelmed and challenged, there's a lot to learn. I enjoy helping people when they are at rock bottom. I will be starting this new job late March or early April. Also, please pray that my husband and I find the perfect house." ~ Keri J.

Birthday Buds: If you would like to have your birthday or your birth child's birthday mentioned in this section, please email the birth date, your name or your child's name, to Amy by the 25th of the month before your birthday. For example, if your child's birthday is November 21, then you need to email it to Amy by October 21st. So email Amy with yours or your child's birthdays. (Note: You can click on the names below to email them or send an e-card.)

Anomar celebrates her own birthday on February 20th and her daughter, Skye, turns one on February 28th.
 

Founder's Corner: A little section to help keep you up to date with Coley and Lani as they share their lives, their thoughts, and what they're doing with BirthMom Buds.

BirthMom Buds began because of the bond and friendship Lani and I formed after placing our children for adoption. We each had a hard time finding one another and once we did, we realized that we wanted to create a safe haven for other birthmothers; a place where they could find comfort and friendship. I have not only found comfort and friendship from Lani but from so many of you as well.

I'm always touched by your friendship and random acts of kindness. It makes my heart smile when I'm having a bad day and I walk to the mailbox and find a thinking of you card. I feel so loved when you call to check on me after a doctor's appointment or when you check on me around Charlie's birthday.

As we celebrate BirthMom Buds birthday, friendships, and love this month, I challenge each of you to show one of your friends from BirthMom Buds that you care by sending them an e-card, writing them a nice email, or whatever other idea you may come up with. It will not only put a smile on their face but yours as well!

Hugs,

Coley

Inspiration: Little things to inspire a birthmom from poems, stories, and quotes to encouraging words.
 

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The articles in each BirthMom Buds Bulletin are the views of the individual authors and are not necessarily the views of the founders and staff at BirthMom Buds.

All articles are copyrighted to BirthMom Buds as well as the individual authors who wrote them. If you wish to re-publish any of the articles or poems featured in our newsletters, we typically do not mind, but please email us for permission first.

Graphics from the Someone to Love digital scrapbooking kit
used with permission from Stolen Moments.