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BirthMom Buds Bulletin
What's new with BirthMom
Buds: Just a
little note to keep you up to date with all the great things we are doing!
Ideas and Insights: Some ideas for gifts to your birth child or adoptive parents, creative ways to deal with being a birthmom, insight on things to do or say with your buddy, and ways to shed some light about being a birthmom to those who just don't get it.
Perfect Gift Ideas There is always one month out of the year that is one of the hardest for me, as I imagine it is for many of your as well: the month of our children’s birth. In June, my birth daughter Kaylee will turn 5. It is hard to believe how fast time flies! However, besides the usual emotional grief and joy I feel at the memory of her birth and placing her with her wonderful family, I also struggle with what to give her for such a special occasion each year. As her birthmother, I always feel a tug at my heart to give her something more than just something she needs or wants like new pajamas or a fun toy. I want to give her something that will keep her connected to me through the years; something that while is age appropriate but will also will help her understand her adoption and my love for her. From speaking with other birthmothers, it seems many of us have this desire and struggle at times with finding the “perfect” gift for our children. The good news is that there are lots of great gifts out there; it just might take some searching. When searching for gifts consider your adoption type, the feelings and level of comfort of the adoptive parents, what overall message you want to tell your child, and your child’s age. Some gifts such as books can vary depending on adoption situation and their age so make sure it is appropriate to their level of understanding and focus on positive things. Here a few ideas I have come across in my years as a birthmother: Children’s Adoption Books
I have not read all of these books, but I have heard good things about them. I have found that it is difficult to find adoption books in local stores so take advantage of the internet to search and read lots of reviews on each one to find the book that best suites what you are looking for. Amazon.com is a great resource. Remember that no book will tell your exact story, so focus on the overall message of the book.
Scrapbooks Not into scrapbooking? Use an online website that does everything for you and then publishes it to a book! Just supply the pictures and text from your heart. Great websites are mixbook.com, shutterfly.com, blurb.com, etc.
Make
Something
Jewelry Hopefully these suggestions have sparked an idea or two for future gifts and will make the process easier. I find that it is therapeutic to put thought and time into the gift I give my daughter, so do some soul searching and reflecting while you decide on the perfect gift and be proud of the finished product! Also remember, they may not love the adoption book or jewelry right now (especially compared to their new bike or princess doll) because of their age, but keep in mind that these gifts from you are life time gifts that your child will always keep with them as they grow (and that new bike cannot fill that spot 20 years from now). These gifts are ones that will share your love forever.
Adoption Spotlight: Focusing on any adoption or women's issues related web site, organization, individual, or issue.
Two of Our Own Mentioned in
Associated Press Article As most of you know, Birthmother’s Day was in May. As more people learn of Birthmother’s Day, the media features more articles and information about Birthmother’s Day and this year was no different. Leanne Italie, a writer for The Associated Press, set out to write an article about birthmothers, Mother’s Day, and Birthmother’s Day and featured several different birthmothers in an article titled Mother’s Day tinged with Sadness for Birthmothers.
The article briefly tells the story of how our Founders met one another. As many of us probably know, Coley found Lani while looking for support shortly after placing her birth son Charlie for adoption. The article briefly talks about BirthMom Buds mentioning the over 900 members, the care packages, the buddy system, online chats, and Birthmother’s Day events. This article, though wonderfully written, was just a brief synopsis of what BirthMom Buds does for women considering adoption and birthmothers.
There is one
small blunder in the article that you may have noticed. Lani is referred
to as Lani “Dowling” instead of Downing! The article “hit news stands” at the end of April and was in various newspapers and publications all across the United States.
Birthday Buds:
In this section, we will list birthdays of our members and their birth children,
so if you
would like to
have your birthday or your birth child's birthday mentioned in this section,
please email the birth date, your name or your child's name, to
Amy by the 25th
of the month before your birthday. For example, if your child's birthday
is November 21, then you need to email it to Amy by October 21st. (Note: You can click
on the names below to email them or send an e-card.)
Prayers Please: We added this section because so many of you have asked us to remember you or
your loved ones in our prayers. We have never wanted to force religion on
anyone, so if you don't pray, then skip this section and go on to the next! And
if you do pray - add the people listed here to your prayer list.
Email Amy
with your prayer requests.|
Founder's Corner: A little section to help keep you up to date with Coley and Lani as they share their lives, their thoughts, and what they're doing with BirthMom Buds.
Our theme this year was The Road Less Traveled which was
such an appropriate theme for birthmothers as we did each take the road
less traveled when we became birthmothers.
After that it was lunch time and time for the balloon
release led by Melanie which launches us into the program type portion
of the day.
We had two speakers this year. One speaker was Justin, a 15 year old adoptee. Hearing him speak and talk about what a great life he had was touching and personally validating to me in many different ways. I think each of the ladies got something from it as well.
Our second speaker was an adoptive Mom of two named Tory.
She really captured me with the way she began telling her story. She
started it off with
Thank you to both Justin and Tory for sharing a bit of yourselves with us!
Next came the slideshow which always a favorite part of
the day and we ended with the candle light ceremony which is always my
personal favorite part of the day.
Our
day was
Special thanks to Melanie Mosberg, who was once again an awesome event coordinator. And of course, thanks to all of our sponsors and to all the people who helped in any way - big or small!
Inspiration:
Little things to
inspire a birthmom from poems, stories, and quotes to encouraging words.
The Road I Traveled
There was a time that sometimes does not feel like it was very long ago,
But I knew this journey was not just about me,
Deciding which road to take
Some think I should be telling this with a frown or with tears in my
eyes,
Newsletter Archives |
Once
again, we had a wonderful Birthmother's Day celebration in Charlotte,
North Carolina. It’s always nice to see everyone again, meet new people,
and just be in a room full of other birthmothers who totally understand
what you are feeling. 
A
light breakfast was served as the ladies began to arrive and then we
started the morning off with welcomes and introductions. Then we played
a neat game called speed friendship. We moved onto our breakout sessions
in which the ladies could learn about challenges that come up in every
day conversation as a birthmother which was led by Lani, moving forward
in life and making creative collages as visual way to help you move
forward which was led by Leah O. and her Mom Evelyn, and adoption
scrapbooking which was led by me. 
We
ended the morning session with a fun craft. We made jumbo clothespins
which can stand up and hold a photo. Totally fun and neat to see how
each person’s turned out differently.
“Once
Upon a Time…” and described a married couple who desperately wanted to
be parents but couldn’t have children of their own. Her love for her
children's birthmoms was touching and something that I think all of us
needed to hear.
I love hearing the hopes, wishes,
prayers, and dreams for each birthmother’s child. 
filled with door prizes, learning, sharing, fellowship,
laughter, a few tears here and there, but mainly it was just about being
in a room full of other women who totally get it. It’s hard to actually
put all of the feelings into words but once again, it was a successful
celebration of our children.