Did you have the opportunity to know many birthmothers while you were pregnant and making your adoption plan? If you did, aren’t you grateful for their guidance? If you didn’t, don’t you wish you’d had the opportunity to talk with other birthmothers? This is your opportunity to give someone, a pregnant woman considering adoption, that chance. Mentor a pregnant woman considering adoption and be a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, and a friend to her as she makes one of the most difficult decisions of her life.
Pregnant women who are considering adoption can fill out a short form and will then be matched up with an already placed birthmom who has volunteered to be a mentor. This is a delicate area and we want to be sure and give these ladies considering adoption the support they desperately need. These women come to us in all stages of pregnancy and the adoption process. Some may come to us weeks away from their due date, have already chose a family, and just need a little support from someone who has been there. While others may come to us in the early months of pregnancy, unsure of what decision they will make seeking insight on adoption from a birthmother’s point of view.
As Mentors, you will be there for your mentee (our word for the person you are mentoring) emotionally as someone who has “been there, done that.” As mentors, we do not try to sway their decision one way or the other, we are simply there to listen and support. As a birthmom yourself, you already know what she is going through so perhaps you can give her some encouraging words, send her an e-card when she is having a bad day, be there to answer her questions, and try to calm her fears. We also need you to follow up with us and keep us up to date with your mentee’s progress.
We also ask that you follow the following guidelines. Most of these are just common courtesy and respect.
1. Do not push an expectant mother in one direction or the other.
2. Do not judge.
3. Do not make rude comments or use foul language.
4. Keep the things said to you confidential.
5. If a situation becomes too much for you, please contact Melanie, our Pregnant and Placing Program Director immediately.
6. We feel that the first year of birth motherhood is so full of ups and downs that we prefer for our mentors’ (birth) children to be at least a year old. We apologize if you feel that your ready but as a group most birthmothers need that first year to grieve and grasp their role. If you feel that you have extenuating circumstances that would make you a good mentor regardless of your child’s age, please email us. We’re always willing to take things into consideration.
We appreciate your interest and willingness to help! If you are still interested in being a mentor, we have a few questions (below) for you. Please answer them and then email them back to us at firstname.lastname@example.org. (The easiest way to answer these questions would probably be to copy and paste the questions in an email.)
Please choose one of the following statements:
___ I am interested in mentoring via email only.
___ I am interested in mentoring via phone only.
___ I am interested in mentoring via phone and email.
Date of birth
Current City and State
Child’s Placement Date
Adoption Type (open, semi-open, closed)
Please discuss your child’s adoption and your feelings about it.
Briefly describe where you feel you are at emotionally now
Have you had any experience working with women who are pregnant and considering adoption? If so, please tell us about that experience.
Why do you think you would be a good mentor for a woman who is pregnant and considering adoption?
What would you say to a potential birthmom to ease her fears?
What would you say to comfort a new birthmom?
Any extra info about your child’s adoption we should know?