Altered Dreams

by Coley Strickland

I dreamed of the joys of motherhood,
Not joining birth mother sisterhood.
I dreamed of choosing a name for you,
Not calling you the name someone else had chosen.
I dreamed of decorating your room,
Not standing in the middle of a room someone else decorated.
I dreamed of watching you take your first steps,
Not hearing about your first steps over the phone.
I dreamed of hearing you call me Mama,
Not being your Mom’s special friend.
I dreamed of walking in with you the first day of school,
Not staring at my clock at 8:30 knowing someone else walked you in.
I dreamed of being team Mom for your little league team,
Not just being another fan in the stands.
I dreamed of straightening your bow tie for your prom date,
Not crying at pictures of you in your tux weeks later.

Sometimes, life turns out differently than we hoped,
And we have to alter our dreams.
Now, I dream that she enjoys motherhood to the fullest,
That she says your name at least a couple of dozen times a day.
That she teaches you to keep your room nice and neat.
That she picks you up and kisses your knees when you fall down trying to master those first steps.
That she marvels at the sound of your voice every time you call her Mama.
That she takes you for a special breakfast before the first day of school.
That she makes cupcakes when your team wins.
That she helps you pick out your tux and a corsage for your date.
Most of my dreams for you were altered,
Except for a few,
I still dream that you know how special you were and are to me.
I still dream that you follow your heart,
I still dream that you know you are so loved.
When I altered my dreams and watch you call her Mommy,
I knew her dreams were the same.